Scream all you want. There is no answers in the back of your throat. Maybe one day you will get what you want from screaming. Kids games have come and gone, we are adults now. What have you done to deserve it? You are one of us don’t forget it.
Let me begin by saying fuck, life its fucking hard. Just when I think I figured it all out and everything is going smooth, life throws a fireball in my face. There is so much more to learn and grasp in this world. The endless possibilities. I will follow the path I have always followed. Which is the path of freedom. I worked to hard in my life to give up now. There must be something better for me. Don’t save me, I will save myself. It is buried deep in my heart. I will never give up!
Listen to Reggae music. POSITIVE ! Just what I needed this week. Just what I need every week. POSITIVE. Note to self, things I need in my life—- Emma, Charlie, Douglas, Barbra, Stephen, Mom, and Dad. My life lessons have come from all of you. My love for all of you will never end.
All the thoughts when I’m driving home. I can never remember them. So many great quotes. They are all trapped in my head. Somebodies reading them, but it is not you! Shout out HA! You will never get in my head, it is to silent. Trap yourself with your own mind. No one will care. Leave a message with no answer. Sit beside the person you hate. Walk into my territory. I don’t mind. No one walks in my mind but me, but in my heart there are many travelers. Beware of the truth, it will find you.
Tears are rolling. What now? Keep me up keep me going and now what? Looking for the excuse the answer. Please tell me the mind warps of other humans, cause damn I don’t get it . GO go go . Let it all out, its all yours . Hook up the camera’s we are all there. Look again and again people doing things you never thought they would do. But they are all there falling under the distracted mind. Look again its all there right in your face. Tell me, cause it will all be in my deaf ear. I already told you. Over and OVEr and OVER. Keep Lookin. Maybe then you will feel better about yourself. Keep a peace of mind!
I feel I am in limbo bouncing back and forth in a time warp. Sensitivity is my week point only few know this. The world I live in is getting closer to the ground. I need to be picked up again. Gain control. I hate being sensitive it is something I would throw back at you if I could. My thoughts are in control I wish my mind was not so full all the time. Constant thoughts, I can never run away from them. I need to live in the present and not in my thoughts. I am aware of all my faults, now all I have to do is fix them.
I HATE DAY THREE THIS IS THE DAY WHERE ALL HELL BREAKS LOSE. I WILL APOLOGIZE NOW TO EVERYONE. SORRY TO ALL, I HOPE THINGS DON’T GET OUT OF CONTROLL!
I should have just shut my mouth. Maybe I talk to much shit. Maybe i’m just a bitch. Maybe everyone really secretly fuckin hates my guts. Maybe i’m just a self centered selfish piece of crap. Maybe could turn into Yes you are___________. It is scary to face the truth about what the people around you really think about you. Lesson in life number 8o12. Keep my big mouth shut. Lesson number 742 Never attempt to plan, make suggestions, or organize any kind of a Christmas party. Note to all the people who might read this, Santa Clause fuckin sucks, his elves are all gay, frosty melted 17 years ago, and Willie Nelson should be shot for ever making a freakin Christmas album!
Oh yeah P. fucking S. I am very happy that I have not seen a Rat run by outside in 4 days. But sad to say there are bigger ones inside now.
Now after my 35th birthday, I feel I need to make some changes. I need to start making my bed in the morning, eating healthier, spending more time with my kids, and being more active. This is not going to be easy. I’m sure I will fail over and over but hopefully and some point before I turn 36 I will accomplish my goals to be a better all around human being. PEACE!
How rude, that was kinda strange, why do you even work there, so you cook stuff ehh. Holy shit I am in a low place rightnow. Intentional or not it hurts. I am trying not to dwell but my depression button is turning on.I keep telling myself it is just one of those bumps in the road that will make me stronger. I have even said a few prayers, but as of now nothing is making me feel any better. Maybe tomorrow things will change.